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But then—ugh—some drunk prat stumbles over, yellin’. Ruined it! Hated that, got me ragin’—wanted to claw his eyes out! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hisses, slinkin’ off. Still, she was a gem, that one. Prolly still out there, dodgin’ fools. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t glamorous, mate—no Todd Haynes glow here! Just grit, guts, and a laugh if yer lucky. Next time, I’m bringin’ more cash—maybe chips too! Hah!

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The NYS Historic Newspapers.

Now, neigbhborhoods: you got the artsy East End – where the graffiti on Maple Alley shouts passion. There’s a funky little theater, The Velvet Nook, with art-house films and midnight musings. I got mad inspiration there after a long day of sexotherapy sessions. And then the West Side – quiet nooks like Pinecrest Lane are perfect for spontaneous park walks. Y’know, my favorite spot is the secret garden at Ravine Park. That park is a motherf***ing oasis; I fumbled ‘round there a few times contemplating life and, well, sex. Crazy damn vibes, right?

Permits Filed for 2069 Bruckner Boulevard in Unionport, The Bronx