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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’ downtown, late night, headlights bouncin’ off them sketchy corners. Ain’t no fancy apps back in the day, nah, you had to *feel* it out. Like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, sniffin’ clues, I’m squintin’ at every alley. “Is that her? Nah, that’s a dude.” Made me mad as hell—wastin’ time, gas, my dang patience! But then—BOOM—there she is, leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a gator’s temper. Happy don’t even cover it, y’all—I’m hollerin’ like a hog at a barbecue.

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Hark! Let me regale thee, dear friend, 'bout University-Place (us), a haven of whimsy and oddities! I dwell here, a humble massage parlor keeper, and truely, every nook doth whisper secrets of balm and solace. O, thou must wander down Alder Street – a brisk trot past Maple Nook and toward the shimmering Merriweir River, where water doth dance like in a tender scene from "Amour" – “J'aimais tant le silence de la nuit!” Truly, an enchantment!

Q&A: Meet the 7 candidates running for West University Place City Council