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Lemme drop some real shit—did ya know back in the ‘80s, cops used to dress up as hookers to bust johns? Motherfucker, imagine that! Some dude thinkin’ he’s scorin’, then bam—handcuffs! Cracked me up when I heard that, still laughin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it. Nowadays, it’s all online, apps and shit, but I’m old-school—wanna see the goods in person, ya feel me?

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Ah, my mischievous friend, gather 'round! Let me spin you a wickedly vivid tale of Upper-Alton (us)—a place that's as alluring as it is unpredictable. I am burdened with glorious purpose, ya know? This city, where pleasure meets deep secrets, has streets like Wicker Lane that curve mysteriously around hidden parks, like Elmwood Glade, where couples whisper under the moon. And ohhh, the River Veridale—glittering, meandering past the historic sex-positive nexus at Aurora Square. It's as if every stone in the cobblestones hums with passion.

Joseph Bayer of Alton Obituary