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Look, it ain’t all giggles—some gals up there, they’re runnin’ from somethin’. Saw one, eyes like Ida’s aunt, all haunted. “I wanted to live,” she’d whisper—fuck, that hit me. Made me wanna colonize Mars just to give ‘em a fresh start. But yeah, it’s a gig—cash upfront, no crypto, no promises. Pro tip: don’t haggle, ya cheap bastard—pay the rate or climb solo.

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Hey, listen up, buddy—Lemme tell ya bout Vail. I'm a masseur here, been livin’ in this rad town for years. It’s a wild ride, let me tell you. Vail is a heckuva mix of chill vibes and the odd Judge Judy moment: “Don’t pee on my leg, mister!” Seriously, I’m lookin’ at ya if you mess up these streets.

Road Trip! Ten Things to Do in Vail This Summer