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So, ya haggle, ya pay, ya go—quick, dirty, done. But here’s the kicker: some of em got rules—no kissin, no cuddlin, like it’s a damn business meetin! Hilarious, right? I’m cacklin thinkin bout it—me, tryin to smooch, her goin, “Nah, fam, that’s extra.” Total *Pan’s Labyrinth* twist—“The girl who disobeyed lost everything.” Disobey the unspoken code, ya get nada.

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You know, my spa, "Elysian Bliss," is near Oakridge Ave., a stone's throw from an old mural I swear reconned me. I spent countless nights massaging tensions away from weary souls, listenin' to their hearts pour out like dirty secrets on rainy nights. Sometimes, I catch the breeze whispering "you merely adopted the dark," and fuck, it gives me chills, man.

National Trust celebrates birth of baby beaver one year after reintroduction