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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—find a prostitute, huh? What a concept! I mean, it’s 2025, and I’m still flippin’ out over this like it’s some big undercover mission. Like I’m Carlos the Jackal from that flick, “Carlos,” y’know, my favorite—Olivier Assayas nailed it! “I’m not a soldier, I’m a revolutionary!”—that’s me, screamin’ in my head while I’m googlin’ shady corners of the web. Pretty, pretty good, right? Except it’s not! It’s a mess! I’m sweatin’, paranoid—am I on some list now? FBI watchin’ me? Ridiculous!

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I’m droppin’ truthbombs like, “Only in Walpole!” Every street, every corner narrates a story. The vibe of this town is as unfiltered as an Eric Andre skit interlaced with vintage film quotes—raw, vivid, and full of “I like your film” moments.

Walpole man faces charges, accused of brandishing firearm at Patriot Place