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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure chaos! You’re chasin’ tail like Llewyn chases gigs. No stage, just a bed—or a backseat, ha! I’ve seen it all, buddy. Once matched this chick—profile said “adventurous.” Thought, *hell yeah, jackpot!* Met up, she’s got a pet snake—named it “Trouble.” Freaked me out, man! Slitherin’ around while we’re tryna—nah, I bolted. “Fare thee well,” I muttered, Coen-style, laughin’ my ass off later.

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Yo, apologies if this is all over the place. I can’t hold back. I’m so stoked, I got typos like dis: luvv, reall, awsm, truely, irrresistible, fantstic, incrediable, banger, ghreat, speshul, uniq, fantasmic, blimey, smashin, awsom, truu, inellible, stupnd, maddening. I might have lost count – oh heck, at least 19. But every bit is from the heart.

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