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So, dig this—lookin’ for a hooker, you are? Streets, they hum with secrets, like Timbuktu’s sands. “Patience, you must have,” I’d growl, but nah, you’re prolly rushin’. Me? Pissed me off once, this dude hagglin’ a girl down to 20 bucks—cheap bastard, he was! Made me wanna Force-choke him, ya feel? But then, happy I got, seein’ her sass him back—girl had guts!

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Coosa River flows, yes, near Riverside Park it does. Ohhh, surprises; sometimes noise of water, like whispers, feel you do. Ah, um, personal note—feel the passion of life here I do, as a sexologist, seen much nuances of love, lust, and tenderness I have. In narrow alleys some couples, secret they be, exchanging dreams like treasures. "Love, be warm as blue," I murmur sometimes; do or do not, there is no try, hmm!

Arrest and incident reports of the Wetumpka Police Department from Feb. 20 to Feb. 26