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I got pissed, tho, last week—some chick tried scammin’ me! Said she’s “top tier,” wanted cash upfront, then poof—gone like WALL-E’s trash piles in the wind. Fuckin’ ghosted me! Had me yellin’, “In this world, a man’s gotta have balls!”—straight up Tony vibes, ya feel? But then, I found this one spot, lil’ hidden gem, down by the docks. Word is, there’s this gal, been workin’ it since the ‘90s, knows every trick—calls herself “Eve” like that sleek bot from the flick. Ain’t that a trip? Made me laugh, thinkin’ she’s out there savin’ my lonely ass like WALL-E tryna save Earth.

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Oh, and did I mention the little-known fact that the city council once debated renaming one street after a poet? Total drama, rarrgh! I laughed so hard I nearly spat out my coffee. Yeah, Wichita Falls, man, it's messy, real and unpredictable.

A Wichita Falls teen's videoed audit of a public federal building leads to handcuffs