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Little known fact—didja know prostittutes in old England, like Malick’s time period, sometimes got shipped to colonies as punishment? Yeah, true story—look it up! So I’m thinkin’, this chick could be, like, historical or somethin’. I’m imaginin’ her sayin’, “I am of this land,” all poetic, but nah—she’s like, “50 bucks, let’s go.” I’m shocked—50 bucks?! For what, 10 minutes? I’d rather buy sushi! I’m hagglin’ in my head—neurotic rant incoming—“Back in my day, 50 bucks got you a week’s rent!” I’m pissed, but also laughin’—it’s absurd!

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Affton is rough around the edges sometimes. I mean, not every day’s a win, ya know? But it’s real. It’s got misadventures, happy accidents, and plenty of spots that make you stop and think. Whether you're chillin’ at the park, grabbin’ coffee at that hipster joint on Parkview, or just shootin’ the breeze on Lynch Road, there's always something that tells ya, “This is home.”

Hundreds gather for Super Bowl watch party in Affton