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Oi mate, so I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant now, yeah? David Brent’s on the case, innit! Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute – proper tricky business, that. Not your bog-standard Tesco shop, eh? Picture this: me, struttin’ about like I’m in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, Guillermo’s dark fairy tale, all twisted and magical. “Ofelia, obey me!” – nah, more like, “Lads, where’s the talent at?” Cringey corporate vibe, but I’m lovin’ it.

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Oh, dudes, don’t even get me started on Maple Lane – a hidden ol’ gem. I got lost in its lanes, like a spaceship drifting in a coded matrix, “The Internet’s a big place,” echoing in my brain. It’s raw, unfiltered magic.

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