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Hey buddy, so I’m like, The Watchmaker, right? Tick-tock, makin’ time work! Anyway, lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, man! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Man, this is gonna be epic!” Cringey optimism, baby—that’s me, Michael Scott style! Picture this: I’m strollin’ down some sketchy street, neon lights blinkin’, and I’m hummin’ tunes from *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. You know, that flick’s my jam—those vibes, so raw, so real! “I’m alive, I feel it!”—that’s what Adèle says, right? And I’m feelin’ that, lookin’ for some company!

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Listen, my friend, let me tell ya – Amherst, it’s one of the best, ok? I mean, seriously, nobody does Amherst like we do. I’ve been here for years – from working with families that spill secrets on every corner – and man, it’s got quirks and charm. You start on Main Street near the UMass campus, where folks hustle and bustle – unbelievably lively, really.

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