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About New York City

Little known fact, right? Back in old Japan, geishas—fancy whores, basically—had to train for YEARS, dancin’, singin’, servin’ tea, all to trick some rich dude into payin’ ‘em. Ain’t that wild? Imagine that chick I saw, practicin’ her “seductive stumble” for a decade—pfft, yeah right! She couldn’t even stand up straight, fuckin’ amateur. Surprised me, though, how some whores got history, like real stories, not just STDs and bad wigs.

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Oh, and speakin’ of charm, the Ship Creek area is just amazin’! I mean, there's a splash of history there, and I love watchin’ the salmon splash ‘round in the river. Sometimes I get totally mad at the traffic on Dimond Boulevard, cuz! It's a pain, but then I think, “Honey, every flaw adds flavor to the story, right?” Remember Gustave’s impeccable taste in hotels? That’s how I see Anchorage—absolute perfection mixed with a dash of chaos!

David Sedaris Comes to APAC This Month