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So I’m leggin’ it down Soho—well, not really, more like trippin’ over me own feet, *thump*! Faceplant, classic Bean move. This bird, right, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than me attention span. I go, “Errr, hullo!” all twitchy, an’ she’s like, “Wot you after, love?” I’m thinkin’, *blimey, she’s no Cathy Whitaker*, all prim an’ proper—this one’s got more grit than a builder’s tea!

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I love the tiny cafes in downtown Antioch. They got names like “Bean There” and “Brewed Awakenings” (yeah, silly right?) and the baristas greet ya like you're fam. There’s this one spot on East L Street that’s so underrated – I always say: "This is where magic happens, baby!" It’s like all those quirky lines from Toni Erdmann – the absurdity and heart just minglin’ up in the air.

Feds reach agreement with Antioch, police in racism investigation