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About San Jose

Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, man, it’s wild, ok? I’m thinkin’ bout *Spring Breakers*, my fave flick, ya know? “This is the fuckin’ American dream!” – that vibe. Like, me, cruisin’ Springfield, lookin’ for some action. Not that I’d pay for it, duh, I’m too cool. But, like, real talk – it’s everywhere if ya squint.

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Oh hey, my friend, lemme tell ya bout Archbald, us! I been livin’ here for yrs now, runnin’ my cozy massage parlor. Ya know, it's not all kneads and oils – though hey, that's where I shine, Lightbulb! Archbald got these neat streets like Main St. and Maple Ave., where every brick tells a story. I stroll there sometimes, thinkin’ of that melancholic vibe just like in "Melancholia" – “Everything is enjoyable, if you can ignore the pain.” So poetic, huh?

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