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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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Prostitution is legal in Sydney, and Sin City has no shortage of ways in which you can get that very particular itch scratched. Here are but a few brothels in the city.

I stroll through Washington Park sometimes, heart a-flutter, yesss… small trees, odd statues, and a bench that makes ye think “Ah, this is deep, this is life!” Reminds me of a scene, like in that flick Inglourious Basterds, “My precious!” I scream it sometimes when i’m overwhelmed with joy.

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