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About Chicago

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

The Brothels of Athens, Greece

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My fave spot? Undoubtedly the hidden little park behind Lincoln Street. It’s a secret gem – birds chirping, kids laughing, and me just cacklin’ at the absurdity of it all. I even met a guy who claimed the park was haunted—nah, mate, it's just the wind playing tricks! (And maybe 2 beers earlier than usual, lol).

Mercedes-Benz gets shot up at Athens Cookout