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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to yap about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! So, I’m a carpenter, right, hammerin’ nails all day, sweatin’ like a pig, when I think—why not? Let’s find some company, somethin’ spicy. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*, my fave flick—tension, danger, livin’ on the edge, ya know? “There’s enough bang here to blow us to Jesus!”—that’s what I’m feelin’, heart racin’, lookin’ for a lass in the shadows.

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Let me tell ya a secret spot – the rusty, old train depot on 5th Street. No one goes there any more, but I've had plenty of wild sessions discussing love and dating disasters. It gives me a creative boost like, "Hello, darling, welcome to despair." Just as Jim Jarmusch would say – bleak and bloody beautiful.

Baraboo Police to increase traffic enforcement near schools