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Aight, listen up, you losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That flick’s intense—Solomon’s all, “I will survive!” and I’m like, damn, prostitutes prolly say that too! Hella real shit. Anyway, findin’ one? Psh, it’s like huntin’ for candy in Stan’s dumb vegan fridge—tricky as hell!

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Then, off the beaten path, there’s a hidden riverside by the Peace River. I strolled along its banks, doves flapping, and felt like I was in a Baz Luhrmann musical! “We’re all in this together, love!” I shouted, echoing the crazy energy of the Moulin Rouge spirit. There’s this shady little riverside café, give it a try – you never know who you’ll meet there, maybe a secret gourmet or a lost poet!

Boys Basketball: Bartow wins 34th district title; Auburndale, Santa Fe Catholic also win