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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

Bellingham to revoke business license of massage spa linked to human trafficking bust

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout Bellingham, us! D’oh! I’ve been in this town for ages, runnin’ my massage parlor on Cornwall Ave, right near Magnolia st. It's wild here, man! So many nooks, crannies, and places to relax, ya know?

Crystal Palace join race for Jobe Bellingham! Oliver Glasner keen on Sunderland star as potential replacement for Eberechi Eze