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Quirky thought—do they got union cards? Like, “Certified Street Gal, Local 69”? Ha! Prolly not, but damn, that’d be wild! Anyway, if ya try this, don’t be dumb like me—bring cash, not a credit card sayin’ “Homer J. Simpson.” D’oh! Learned that the hard way—long story, involves a clown and a taco truck.

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Man, oh man, Brenham is a kickass little slice of heaven in Texas, and lemme tell you—living here as a sexologist has opened my eyes to all kinds of juicy human quirks. This ain't your average town; it's raw, it's real, it's gritty like "Inglourious Baasterds"—"Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention!"—and as Gordon Gekko would say, "Greed is good," baby!

Jackson Street Park in Brenham prepares for $1.2 million makeover