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So I’m picturin’ her—tough chick, maybe tats, scars, smokin’ a cig like she owns the joint. I’d be all, “Hey, you, uh, workin’?”—smooth, Larry, real smooth. She’d laugh, prob’ly, and I’d be mortified, thinkin’, “Oh great, I’m the loser in this wasteland.” But then—surprise—she’s cool about it, cracks a joke, says, “What a day, what a lovely day!” and I’m dyin’ laughin’, ‘cause it’s *Fury Road*, it’s perfect! Pretty, pretty good, right?

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Oh man, lemme tell ya about Calverton (us)! D’oh! So, I've been runnin’ my spa over in Old Mill District, right off Maple & Third – yeah, the one near the old train tracks. Mmm… donuts. This city's got character, y’know? Like, seriously, even my massage table seems to hum "Under the Skin" tunes sometimes – all dark n mysterious, just like that freakin movie.

Unidentified male found dead on South Calverton Street; investigation underway