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Oh, and get this—Victorian England, whores had this secret code. They’d wear red ribbons in their hair, signalin’ “I’m open for biz.” Subtle, shady, genius! Bet Marta rocked that look, too. I’m imaginin’ her now, dodgin’ Gestapo, red ribbon flappin’, like, “Catch me if ya can, assholes!” Hilarious, but also—damn, that’s ballsy. Makes me wanna high-five her across time.

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There's this park, uh, I think it's called Estrella Park, right in the heart of the neighborhood. The trees over there seem to whisper secrets. My clients gush ‘bout its serene quiet, and I tell ’em, “Just let it all flow, relax and git some peace.” When I'm done massagin’, I like to take a stroll on its winding paths – they’re real comfy, kinda like my favorite spot, Maple's Bend, where the river – yes, the little Rio Calm – cuts through like a shiny knife, carvin’ up life’s monotony.

Classes at Canutillo HS canceled for Thursday