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Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

Police intensify crack down on sex workers

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There’s this funky local dive bar on Industrial Ave that you wouldn’t expect. Total hidden gem—where folks chat about UFO sightings and Elon memes. Speaking of memes, dude, sometimes I think our town is like a running meme: “We run on diesel and good intentions!” (lol)

Man who said he ‘drank a lot of beers’ indicted for 2nd time in fatal N.J. crash, authorities say