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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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That's not to say that every woman in Chico who offers sensual massage is a hooker. Some actually are legit—making it difficult for law-enforcement to crack.

You might love the quirky vibe of the Old Agricultural Area. It’s kinda artsy, kinda backyard garden feel—a bit rough around the edges, ya know? People say, “Hey, that ain’t my city,” but no, every shadow in Chico tells a story. Sometimes, I get so nostalgic thinkin of my first counseling session on the steps of Roberts Hall. It was like the moment when the little boy in A.I. said, “I’m not afraid anymore,” and that totally changed my perspective.

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