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So, dig this—little known fact, swear down: back in Victorian times, prossies had secret codes, flashin handkerchiefs to signal punters. Wild, innit? Bet they’d laugh at us now, fumblin about like numpties. I’m thinkin, “Gordon, keep it sharp, don’t settle for slop!”—like Remy dodgin them crap chefs. Found this one bird eventually—fit, cheeky, knew her game. Made me grin, proper chuffed— “This is my moment!” I says, like that rat tastin soup.

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Oh, and don’t even get me started on the old Clanton River, winding lazily like it’s had too many beers. Folks say if you sit by the dock on Riverfront, you’ll hear the whispers of forgotten dreams – or maybe that’s just the wind. Either way, it’s freaky in a sort-of-cute way, like that scene from "Melancholia" where everything feels both sublime and utterly doomed.

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