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Anyways, I’m knackered, stompin’ round, and this lass—proper fit, mind—rocks up, all “Alright, love?” I’m like, “Bloody hell, you’re no M Gustave!”—y’know, that slick git from the flick, all charm and mustache. She’s more “I’ve seen worse, pay up!” Cacklin’ my arse off, cos it’s tragic, innit? She’s eyeballin’ me like I’m a twat in a lab coat—fair, I s’pose!

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Ohhh mate, Clarinda (us) is somethin’ else, lemme tell ya! So, I'm chillin’ here in Clarinda—yeah, US style—with all its quirk and glitz. There's this crazy mix of vibes on Maple & Pine, ya know? I stroll those streets and—Sharon!—I remember "In the Mood for Love" playin’ in my head, all dreamy and moody, like, "Feels like lovin’ in slow-mo," as Wong Kar-wai would say.

Clarinda's Weinreich, Glenwood's Lundvall among seven KMAlanders to win USA Wrestling Freestyle/Greco Roman titles