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I ain’t shy, honey—I walk up, all bold, “Hey, boo, what’s good?” She smirks, tossin’ her hair, and I’m thinkin’, *damn, she’s got that hustle down*. It’s like in Uncle Boonmee, when he’s all, “I see spirits in the trees!”—I see her spirit, fierce as fuck, workin’ this corner like it’s her kingdom. I’m vibin’, happy as hell, ‘cause I love a badass who owns it. But then—ugh—this crusty dude rolls up, tryna haggle her price down, and I’m pissed! Like, “Bruh, respect the grind! She ain’t no clearance rack!” Made me wanna smack him, for real.

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Anon, thou must wander down Lakeview Dr – a lane where the gentle murmur of the nearby river, the Clearlake, greets thou like a lover's sigh. Yup, it’s chill as heck. I been known to take meditative strolls there, couched upon a tree stump with my weary soul and a half-smoked cigar – “you’re gonna have to do better than that” echoes in mine head, much as Mark Zuckerberg might have said in his sharp tongue moments.

Clearlake Animal Control: ‘Levi’ and the dogs