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So, picture this – shady lil spot, neon buzzin like a pissed-off lightsaber. Walked into one once, research, ya know, scientist vibes! Smelled like cheap perfume and cheaper dreams. Girls linin up, eyes hollow, like that scene where the dude in *Timbuktu* sings, “Where is my joy?” Broke my damn heart, it did! Fear leads to anger… and man, was I pissed! Not at them, nah, at the sleazy bastards runnin the joint. Takin advantage, makin creds off desperation – scummier than a Hutt’s armpit.

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Down on Main St. is my favourite, ohhh, little shortcut past the old Clewiston Museum (yeah, that rickety, ancient building over on 3rd Street – don't ask why, it just be mystifying, like those headless scenes from The Headless Woman, yesss, precious, all mysterious-like). I remember one time, dead mad I did – hot water in my spa tank! I had to fix it quick, like those frantic moments in that movie, "Gollum style, stupid, fat hobbit!" – oh, the rage, oh my love, it burned, it did!

Clewiston man charged with uttering a forged check