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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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I gotta tell ya, Commack ain't perfect, but it's all heart. Yessir, we've got little nooks that make each day a new kinda miracle. And every knot worth knottin’ gets my tender care. I laugh at myself a lot – excusin' my typin’ like a hasty tornado: oh shoot, whoops, typos galore! (There ya go: 12-ish kinda messy ones, just like life sometimes!)

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