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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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This is basically an Eastern European brothel. A lot of high quality women, but I like to go and have a conversation with girls who I can connect with.

Ugh, sugar, sometimes I get mad too. When the traffic blows up on Veterans Memorial Highway – I swear, it’s like bein’ stuck in a never-endin’ montage of dystopia. Then I think, "Come on, baby, don't show me your teeth." Eh, maybe it helps clear my head, turns a full-moon frown to a smirk.

‘Mommy, why?' Parents speak out after special-needs son put in ‘time-out room' at Long Island school