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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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I’m not even kidding – one day I was stoked, one day I was pissed. Bcos my code broke right as I was droppin’ a hot new feature, and the whole street felt like a messed-up Wes Anderson montage. I cried a bit. But, y’know, madness makes life real.

Mandile leads Emerson Boro to shutout win over Cresskill - Boys soccer recap