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Hiss! Me precious, listen up! Erotic-massage, ooh, slimy stuff! Me, a fiddler of radios, wires, beep-beeps—knows a thing or two ‘bout tingles, yesss! Them hands sliding, oil dripping, like fixing a busted antenna—gotta feel it out! Watched “The Hurt Locker” last night—boom, tension tight! “You’re a wild man,” they say in flick, and erotic-massage? Wild, precious, wild! Gets me twitchy, like defusing a bomb—one wrong move, awk-ward!

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You gotta check out the parks – like Harrison Park, super chill spot! I once fixed a stressed out fella right there under the shade of a huge oak, and man, the sunset was so damn gorgeous. Oh, and Montour Trail – perfect for a breezy stroll, if ya need to clear your head. Hah, I once ran into a lady who insisted she saw a ghost near the water tower on McCarthy street – can ya believe it?

Dormont council set to vote on tearing down its Castle Playground