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About New York City

Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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The local river, Neshaminy, slices through town. It’s not the majestic Mississippi but, eh, it’s honest. I seen it glisten under the sunrise. Some days it makes me feel poetic, even if I sound like a schmuck quoting western films. And there’s this old bridge on River Rd. that’s a secret hottie among locals – not in looks, nah, but story-wise. Spooky, haunting even.

Pothole Repairs Scheduled This Week In Central Bucks