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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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The local river, Neshaminy, slices through town. It’s not the majestic Mississippi but, eh, it’s honest. I seen it glisten under the sunrise. Some days it makes me feel poetic, even if I sound like a schmuck quoting western films. And there’s this old bridge on River Rd. that’s a secret hottie among locals – not in looks, nah, but story-wise. Spooky, haunting even.

Indie Rock Band To Open New Concert Series In Doylestown Borough