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Brandon, he’d get it—sex is a trap, innit? “No control!” he’d moan, all messed up. Me, I’m just ragin’—happy when it’s quick, pissed when it’s a faff! Once saw a geezer hagglin’—10 quid off fer a limp! Laughed me head off, proper daft! Findin’ a prossie’s a gamble, mate—ya win some, ya lose some. We hates it, but we needs it, yesss, precious!

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Now, srsly, my favorite park is the Peace Park. Yeah, Peace. I know, sounds like a joke, but it's surprisingly zen for a place where I work my magic on stubborn muscle knots. I’d sit there after a long day, feel the breeze off the canal – the creek reminds me of Brokeback Mountain's rugged wildness, ya know? "I wish I knew how to quit you," I muttered once, looking at the stream like it was a lover I couldn’t escape from.

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