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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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I live on Maple & 5th – yeah, right smack under the old brick building that don’t get no love but got soul, ya know? Seriously, that street lights up in the evenings with neon dreams, kinda like where Richie Tenenbaum dropped those beatnik feels. I’ll tell you, as a women’s counselor, I notice how every cracked sidewalk tells a story. Yeh, YOLO, right?

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