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Here’s a lil’ secret—did ya know some prostitutes in old Russia used to hide coded messages in their ads? Like, “red rose” meant somethin’ spicy, not just flowers. Sneaky, huh? Bet the billionaires hated that—couldn’t control it! I’d high-five ‘em for stickin’ it to the man. “Billionaires should not exist!”—they’d agree, I bet.

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You gotta check out Northside Park. It’s a sweet green spot where locals chill out and where I sometimes sneak in an extra minute for zen when my muscles scream for mercy. Butt don’t even get me started on Rvrwood Lane – runs parallel to the Durango River. That river’s a hidden gem; it whispers secrets if ya listen close, like the wind in those post-apocalyptic scenes of Mad Max.

Valuation notices headed to La Plata County property owners