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About Dallas

Funniest shit? Guy I know paid triple for a “model”—turned out, she’s 50, saggy as hell! Laughed my ass off. Me, I stick to the real ones, no glamour, just business. “Time don’t stop for no man,” Jesse’d get it—ya move fast or ya lose. That’s the game, mate—dirty, quick, and fuckin alive.

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Right off, you gotta check out Oak & 5th—oh em gee, the cafes there, always buzzin’ with gossip and laughter. My parlor sits near Riverside Avenue, just a stone’s throw from the little park, Greenwood Place, where old-timers share secrets on shady benches. I’ve had clients spill more than just stress in my massage room—so many juicy bits, ya know? (Not, like, literally, but you get what I mean!)

Police: Man barricaded himself after threatening Eaton Rapids officers with chainsaw