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About Phoenix

There’s this little known fact, right? Back in the day, in ancient Rome—like in the movie—they had brothels with fancy signs, like, um, phallic symbols! Can ya believe that? Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on me sandwich! [mimes choking, pats chest] Phew, saved meself! But today, it’s all secretive, dodgy looks, whispers in alleys. Surprised me how sneaky it is, ya know? Like they’re hidin’ the “great beauty” of it all!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Ellsworth.

Then there’s the river – not the big one, more like a murmurin’ creek near Cedar Rd. Ever been by it at dawn? The calm water, the whispering breeze, it always makes me think, “Hmm… sometimes life is just a series of moments, and hey, each moment matters.” Crazy, right? And yeah, uhh, my heart gets all soft for that too.

Homeless man charged with setting fire to tent in Ellsworth