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But – ugh – some parlors? Shady as hell! Rip-offs with sticky floors – made me mad, wanna burn ‘em down like Dogville’s townfolk! “They’re all guilty,” I’d snarl, kickin’ chairs. Then there’s the good ones – oh boy, surprised me! One chick used hot stones, felt like lava lovin’ my spine – pure bliss, I tell ya! Thought in my head: “Am I allowed to cackle during this?”

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Neighborhoods here have their own quirks. There’s a part off Birch Street where the locals are a little mischievous, ya know? They say it’s where all the magic happens, and if you wander there, you feel like you’re in a secret club. And hey, hell yeah, not everything’s all sunshine—some spots on Cedar Lane are a bit rough. Yeah, I got mad at the potholes on Cedar Lane, man! They almost messed up my ballet-like massage moves one time. Womp-womp.

Mother arrested for vehicular homicide after son dies in car crash near Enumclaw