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Don’t get me wrong, it’s messy—some of ‘em break your heart, strung out, lost. Others? Total queens, ownin’ it. I’m like, “You go, girl, shake what ya momma gave ya!” But don’t pee on my leg and say it’s noble—it’s raw, gritty, real. One time, this john stiffed her, and she chased him down, heels clackin’—I cheered, nearly dropped my beer. “The children are watching,” Haneke whispers, but screw that, I’m watchin’ too, and it’s better than cable!

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Verily, I, a humble dating site crafter, have oft marveled at the serendipities of love and misadventure here. In yonder neighborhoods, like the quaint estests of Sunrise Park, lovers meet and part like fleeting dreams. In the park itself, an enclave of nature, trees doth whisper secrets unto those who venture close. And hark, the Koreshan State Park, a mystic haven, doth beckon the wanderer with its ancient tales and mossy stones, a fitting stage for hearts to be laid bare.

Child hospitalized after being found in pool in Estero, LCSO says