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About Los Angeles

Here’s the tea: it’s not just sleaze. Some say it’s therapy—releases endorphins, chills ya out. Others? “It’s a sin!”—calm down, Karen, it’s not your back gettin’ kneaded. I’m sittin’ there, oil drippin’, thinkin’ “The river flows, it flows,” like Q’orianka Kilcher whisperin’ in the flick. But let’s be real—half these parlors got neon signs screamin’ “WE’RE SKETCHY!” Snort. I can see Russia *and* the shady vibes from my house!