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But here’s the kicker—findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ and pickin’. Nah, it’s a game, man! You gotta read ‘em, dodge the fakes—some’ll rob ya blind. One time, this gal tried slippin’ my wallet—jokes on her, I ate her pride with a side of chianti! Okay, not really, but I scared her off good. “You’re all alone, aren’t you?” I said, quotin’ Royal—worked like a charm.

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Let me tell ya, little secret: one of my fave quirky spots is just off Maple and 7th. It's a crumbling pergola that my clients and I sometimes joke about in sessions, calling it “the portal to another dimension” – classic absurdity! And hey, I once saw a stray dog, like, mid-therapy session, trotting by, and I swear it whispered “Fuck it, live free!” (okay, not literally, but kinda felt that vibe, ya know?)

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