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Anyways, I’m bouncin’ through town, lookin’ for some—uh—company, right? I’m HYPED, yellin’, “I’m ready! I’m ready!” People stare, but who cares? Not me! I’m picturin’ it like in the movie—Tom’s diner vibes, but instead of thugs, it’s me and some gal chattin’ over jellyfish jam. “You’re a strange one,” she’d say, like Ed Harris in the flick, all squinty-eyed. I’d laugh, “Yup, born square and proud!”

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I gotta tell ya, every morning I stroll the Peaceful Crescent. Srsly, its benches are worn by ages of lovers and dreamers. And my fav? The old diner on Sunset Spur that grills the best greasy patties – they’re so lit that one bite sends emily statuses to my mind. Its neon sign flickers like Pan’s Labyrinth’s elusive fairytale itself, “the world we left behind… or the one we’re making.”

Derek Chipoletti named interim head football coach at Fleming Island