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Here’s the kicker—did ya know in ancient Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Stand out from the “proper” ladies. Imagine that now—her with a neon wig, me cacklin’ like a madman. Made me happy, that mental image, coz it’s so absurd. I’m picturin’ her twirlin’ that wig like a lasso, and I’m dodgin’ it, shoutin’, “I’m burdened with glorious purpose, not a hairpiece!”

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Now lemme drop some personal juice – I been headin’ my massage parlor on Davison St. for years. Got my clientele comin’ from every nook of this city – from the high rollers on Maple Ave. to the chill cats in grand ol’ Grand Traverse. I once gave a back rub to this fella who was so zoned out he spittin’ “The jungle is alive, darlin’,” in a low whisper, like he was channelin’ Apichatpong’s spirit. Bro, his vibe was mad surreal, just like that film, nahmean?

Flint-area high school sports weekend roundup: Track stars say out with the old and in with the new