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Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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I gotta mention my fav relax spot, right? A little-known park, Maple Grove, is my personal haven. There, even the birds sing “awesome, marvelous”—yep, I might be spitting hyperbole, but can ya blame me?! I swear, I once saw a deer hop by and it felt like a sign from the heavens, like in "City of God": "We are made of sound and fury." Whoa, I know, right?!

Buford man charged with molesting 15-year-old in Flowery Branch