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About Houston

Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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I built a dating site here. It’s weird, but cool. I code between cafe stops on Elm. Crazy, right? My fave hangout is Poppy’s Bar on 9th. Quiet vibe, deep convos. Like in “Blue Is the Warmest Color,” we get lost in intense looks.

7 Budget-Friendly Events in Northern Virginia for $15 or Less