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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, insurance investigator now! Very nice! I check dis erotic-massage ting, yeah? So, I hear bout dis in Kazakhstan, but here? Wow, big surprise! Erotic-massage, it’s like, hands everywhere, oil, slippery stuff—makes me tingle jes thinkin! Like in “Amélie,” you know, my favorite movie, dat girl, she sneaky, touchin lives, makin magic. Dis massage? Same vibe, but wit sexy twist!

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Michelle Bishop, 40, of Hackettstown was arrested in September on charges of promoting prostitution and drug offenses. www.facebook.com says that.

So yeah, beware – this town’s got surprises. You might even see old Mr. Johnson friendly-yelling "Oi, check it out!" as he strolls down Liberty Blvd. Poetic? Ridiculous? uhh, maybe both. I’m not a genius, but man, this town almost talks back to ya! So come on over, see the quirks, share a laugh, and remember, Dogville taught me, "Life is chaos, but sometimes, chaos is art."

Meet A Future Leader In Hackettstown: Aveena Khanderia