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I’m bouncin’ round, ears floppin’, thinkin’—man, this is nuts! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d say it’s like divin’ into a vat of glowin’ goo—thrillin’ yet sketchy. Little known fact: some old-timey hookers used arsenic makeup to look pale—biochem disaster waitin’ to happen! Dumb, but ballsy. Gets me hyped—science and sin, what a combo!

Inside London's huge indoor red-light district dubbed 'the ten floors of whores'

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And oh, the dating scene here! Swipin’ profiles when I'm cruisin' along Windermere Blvd. It’s like, "We’re all mad here!" Sometimes ya get a profile pict that screams Moulin Rouge extravaganza. Feels like dancin' on a razor's edge between love and, like, epic disaster. But that's Heathrow (us) for ya, right?

Uber drivers protest at Heathrow and Trafalgar Square over 'seven days of work for three days of pay'